Puerto Morelos, Quintana Roo, Mexico

Puerto Morelos is a very nice town that is located about halfway between the insanely crazy insanity of the tourist towns of Cancun (to the north) and Cozumel (to the south). Save yourself some aggravation and stay at Puerto Morelos next vacation, then just take a bus, van, rental car or taxi to either other location for first-class snorkeling and whatever else the kids are up to these days.

The local buses and taxis all stop at Puerto Morelos's town square, just a few yards from the beach. There's a nice little supermarket, a selection of ATMs, and an excellent fresh fish market Right There. There's a very good, reasonably-priced English-and Spanish-language car rental office just off the plaza across from the church. There are at least 6 restaurants either on the plaza or within a few blocks' walk in any direction. Ask anyone where the fancy bakery or the nearest tortillería is. It's all easy.

If you want a bigger variety of produce stands, meat markets and chicken purveyors, ask the nice bus driver or cabbie (they're all nice) to take you 10 minutes across the highway into the 'hood (aka fraccionamiento) to whichever stop is nearest the biggest fruit and veggie stand, that will no doubt be within a block of where a Chicken Guy is selling parts & whole critters and a Meat Butcher is selling fresh homemade sausages. In these parts, chicken is sold separately from meat. It's poultry, after all. You'll want to speak some Spanish for this part of your day – or, if your taxi driver speaks English, ask him to show you around for some extra $$. It's cheaper than a tour. You can buy a week's provisions for two gluttons like us, for about US $40. I love Mexico.

Souvenirs in Puerto Morelos are a little "meh" for my taste, but the church on the plaza (newish construction thanks to a recent hurricane – or several) has some fascinating cross and chalice mosaics adorning the outside walls: they're made entirely of local seashells. Check out the cockles and the West Indian fighting conchs here. That's a lot of seashells for a 6' x 8' mosaic.

Then of course there's the giant gold head of Morelos himself in the plaza. (Get it? Morelos? PUERTO Morelos? Named after the revolutionary hero? Anyone?) That's me mugging for the camera. A couple taxi drivers on break, sitting off camera in what passed for shade, cracked the hell up: I'm holding a purple 50-peso note, on which Morelos is featured IN THE EXACT SAME POSE WITH THE EXACT SAME DISAPPOINTED EXPRESSION. Wearing the fancy bandanna that made him famous, which he actually used to conceal male pattern baldness. No, I am not making that up. Which came first, the statue or the 50-peso note, hmmmm?  I am sure I am the first tourist in the history of Mexico to make this connection and get my picture taken doing this.

Come to Puerto Morelos for the beaches and the laid-back church art. Stay for the giant gold head.

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