Tracking Down a Leak – a Play in Five Acts

Act I, Scene I.  Somewhere in the Sea of Cortez. Morning on The Fox at anchor. Belowdecks, in the salon.

"Darling, there appears to be a spot of water in the Dry Bilge."

"Taste it, My Sweet – is it fresh, or salty?"

"It tastes of salt, Love. Whence comes it, thinks you?"

"I shall look 'round, Pumpkin."

Act I, Scene II. A few mintues later, in the galley.

"Muffin, I found water in the galley's sump, yet not in the Deep Bilge where yon Emergency Pump resides.  What see you in the stowage under the nearest salon seat?"

"I see water in the conduit where wires run, Cupcake. Shall I taste it?"

"Please, Dearest."

"It has the bitter tang of stale salt water, My Pet."

"Sugarplum, I shall flush the salt water with fresh, the better to ease the burden of corrosion upon our electical wiring. Thereafter please draw out the offending waters from yon conduit, whilst I look further 'neath all our floorboards in the galley."

Act I, Scene III. 45 mintues later, in the galley.

"Buttercup, I find no leaks, nor through-hull failures, nor intrusion of any salt water from the mighty seas without. Our loyal diesel engine is likewise intact.  Thus I decree we shall mop up all errant waters, then remain vigilant for said waters' return, the better to find the source of our Fountain of Mystery some finer day."

Exeunt.

Act II, Scene I. The next day. Galley.

"See you any water in yon sump, My Life?"

"The sump is as dry as my next martini, Jellybean. This I cannot explain."

Exeunt.

Act III, Scene I. A few days later. Galley.

"Blossom, I find return to the sump of a bit of water. Much less than before. Said water is neither salty nor brackish, but fresh and clear as your eyes which doth gaze upon me now. See you any infiltration of water anywhere in yon salon?"

"No, My Prince. All the salon is as pristine as the kisses you bestow upon me."

Exeunt.

Act IV, Scene I. A few days later. Galley.

"Kitten, we've now been underway and at anchor and run our fine watermaker on many occasions. I see again the fresh water Fountain of Mystery in our galley sump. I know not whence the water flows."

"My Light, it doth appear water spouts forth from yon foot-powered fresh-water pump. I shall take thy hand gently in mine own, that I may lay it upon said pump and moisten it with the waters of our heretofore Fountain of Mystery."

"Button, though my hand feels yon water cascading from said pump like a fine Irish mist, I disagree with thy conclusions, lovingly expressed though they be.  So for you, My Everything, as we tarry in this foreign land I shall find the true source of our torment once and for all and smite it for thee!"

"Take care, My Brave Knight!"

Act IV, Scene II.  One or two hours later. Galley.

"Sunshine, I decree the water spouts forth from yon foot-powered fresh-water pump. 'Tis a true   tragedy we knew not of this sooner. I shall now remove the offending pump, that of the blown seals having been unnecessarily under pressure lo these many years whilst our fine watermaker hath run its course; and I shall splice together the remaining hoses, the better to maintain good fresh water flow to all the places we desire; and the splice and the seal shall be unassailable and magnificent."

"My Hero! Yea verily and forsooth, thou hast saved us!"

Exeunt.

Act V, Scene I. Weeks Later. Marina Costa Baja, La Paz.

"So. My Sweetest Of All Possible Worlds. When guesseth you, thou wilst begin the fine rebuild of the offending fresh water pump?"

Finis.

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